Things High People Say & Think

It’s not just kids that say the darnedest things; stoners do too.

Among us, there are a variety of common phrases that stoners know all too well and use very often.

Remember those *hits blunt* memes? We’re paying homage to that time, a simpler time, when stoners were celebrated for their hilarious and introspective curiosity while taking part in a good ol’ smoke sesh.

Without further ado, here are 12 things high people say. Followed by that are 15 stoner questions that will blow your mind.

12 Things People Say When High

We’ve all said this stuff, but even if these comments or phrases sound dumb, they’re still hilarious (and sometimes even introspective). See what do people say when they are high, typically.

“We gotta write this down.”

Too many brilliant ‘high-deas’ have been forgotten. Stoners love chatting, but they also have short-term memory problems. Open the notes app during your next group session. You won’t regret it.

Lost Lighters

“Who has my lighter?” “Who bic-ed me?” “Where is the lighter?” “Is that my lighter?” We all have that one friend who notoriously steals lighters. Most of the time, it’s by accident, and they simply pocket them without any thought. But seriously, where the hell is my lighter?

“I’m too high, man.”

You may feel too high, but you’ve got this. Take a deep breath (or a few), kick back with nature, and let the anxiety fade. Need tips on how to deal with THC-induced paranoia? Check out this guide.

“Dis shit right here.”

In reference to the great weed being smoked. Usually, no words come before this, and no words follow. This phrase is simply honoring the precious and potent weed being smoked.

“Joints left, pipe right.”

Paaassss the dutchie pon the left-hand side! Who knew there was proper etiquette when sharing a joint or pipe? Turns out, you must pass the pipe to the right and the joint pon the left-hand side (as per Musical Youth, anyways).

“I can’t be around people right now.”

Anxiety and paranoia have kicked in. Even if you’re not paranoid or anxious, sometimes, being high and around too many people causes overstimulation. It can be hard to ground yourself when there are hundreds of voices chatting away.

“What should we watch?”

“So there’s this car that runs on water. It runs on water, man!” – Steven Hyde, That ’70s Show. There are plenty of stoner movies and shows to feast your high eyes on. Chances are, you’ve seen all of them, and your crew is left scrolling on Netflix until there’s nothing left to scroll through.

“Are my eyes red?”

The more you worry about it, the worse they get. Okay, not really, but who cares! Grab some Visine, or don’t smoke weed if you have to be around people who will judge you. There’s a time and place for everything.

“That’s not a microphone.”

The person holding a joint should not be telling a story…unless they’re on stage. That J is burning, man! With each word, they’re wasting precious herb and smoke that could be inhaled. Save the story for after. A sesh means business.

“What was I saying?”

The smallest interruption can end an entire thought process. And that’s fine, as you’ll likely enter an even better conversation afterward. Chances are, you’ll remember what you were saying. Just give it some time and maybe another hit.

“I’m starving.”

7-11 and Taco Bell…two standard go-to’s for munchies, besides whipping up some of your own crazy concoctions (honorable mention to microwaved nachos). Say goodbye to the snacks in your pantry.

“What should we do?”

The indecisive downside of weed. Besides plunking down for video games or a movie, stoners often find themself not knowing what to do with their high minds. They’ll probably just end up smoking more weed, and that’s an activity in itself, right?

15 High Questions – More Funny Things Stoners Say

Stoners don’t just say the darndest things. They ask them, too. We’re taking a trip back to 2016 and honoring our favorite *hits blunt* memes, packed with stoner questions that might just get the gears turning in your mind. Here are our favorite high questions.

The Terror!

When we yawn, do deaf people think we’re screaming?

Angry Vegans

If two vegans are arguing, is it considered beef?

Who’s Who?

If you clean a vacuum, do you become a vacuum cleaner?

Total Death

What happens if I get scared half to death twice?

Ghost Driver

Who closes the door after the bus driver gets off?

Disney, We Need Answers

If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off?

Jobs Vs. Gates

If Apple made a car, would it still have windows?

Down The Hatch

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

Waiting On Waiters

If you’re waiting for the waiter, aren’t you the waiter?

Squad Goals

Is a group of squids called a squad?

Purrrfect

Do pets name their owners?

Oranges, Greens, & Yellows

If oranges are orange, why are limes not called greens and lemons not called yellows?

A B C

Who put the alphabet in alphabetical order?

A Palindrome

Faded AF is faded AF backward.

Mind In The Gutter

There are more nipples in the world than people.