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Every cannabis consumer has found themselves at one time or another in a less-than-desirable situation when they’re high – and need to not look high.
Maybe your parents are coming around, or you have to pick up some previously-forgotten-but-now-essential-item from the grocery store (snacks or rolling papers, usually.)
If you’ve been smoking weed for a long time, chances are people can’t tell when you’ve had a smoke anyway. But if you’re relatively new to the scene, there are a few things you can do to keep your love of MJ on the DL. See below for tips on how to not look high.
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When your mind is feeling euphoric and creative, and your limbs start to feel lighter than a feather, you know you’re high.
However, other people might also notice some telltale signs that make them wonder whether you’ve been indulging in weed.
We’re here to help you master the art of not looking high.
Here are some signs of highness to expect when consuming cannabis:
Not all parents are a-okay with your use of weed (they’re from another generation – can we blame them?)
You’ll want to make sure you don’t let off telltale signs by tending to red eyes, getting rid of the skunk-like smell that’s recognizable, relaxing, and remembering that no one notices the trip as much as you do.
Just be yourself, but throw caution to the wind by investing in some eye-drops, hiding away the stash, throwing on some perfume, and brushing your teeth.
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Red eyes symbolize smoking weed, as the inner eye pressure drops and blood vessels expand to give that signature bloodshot look. Fortunately, it’s pretty easy to get rid of them.
The most common and effective way is to use anti-redness eye drops, as long as you don’t overdo it and create a tolerance. Once that’s out of the way, be aware of your squinting and open up those bright eyes.
Because weed dilates your pupils, your eyes might feel more sensitive to light, thus making you squint. If all else fails, put on a pair of sunglasses, and they’ll be none-the-wiser.
You might be in a pickle if you’ve just smoked and don’t have any eye drops on hand. Fortunately, there are ways to combat that infamous bloodshot stare without the need for chemicals.
You can try soaking a hand towel in cold water to create a compress and placing it over your eyes for a few minutes. Alternatively, rinsing your eyes out with water can also do the trick (just make sure the water is filtered and safe).
Finally, make sure to blink often to relieve eye strain and dryness.
Most people won’t give it a second thought as long as you stay in control, make sure the smell is all gone, and tend to the telltale physical signs.
Here are some tips on how to hide being high:
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You’ll want to make sure you’re drinking enough water to combat red eyes and keep you from dealing with cottonmouth, as well as keeping you grounded.
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Remember, most people won’t even notice if you’re high or not as long as you’re in the zone and in control of your thoughts and actions.
Try to stay calm and just enjoy the moment as you would if you were sober.
CBD can help you relax. Not only does it have mental and body-soothing properties, but it also counteracts the negative effects of THC, like anxiety and paranoia.
A few drops of a full-spectrum CBD tincture can help you settle down and chill.
It’s natural to think that you must obviously look stoned and thus try to look normal. Whether you’re standing in line for something or sitting down, one thing you have to do is stop fidgeting.
When you make an effort to look normal, you look anything but, so focus on something else. As long as you’re not fidgeting and gazing off into the distance, you’ll be okay.
Worst-case scenario: you’ve sunken into a relaxing Indica, and people unexpectedly drop by to say hi. The last thing you want to do is be chatty and responsive, but you have to reach deep and find some motivation to interact and do things. Mind over matter, baby.
Of course, if you have had a nice uplifting Sativa, then this probably won’t be too much of a struggle. Give yourself a pep talk, take a sip of water, and turn on those social skills.
Nothing gives a recent sesh away like red eyes. Wherever possible, wear sunglasses so no one can see your bloodshot peepers. If you’re indoors, then wearing sunglasses is just as suspicious as what they hide. Instead, use some eye drops, and if anyone asks, just blame your allergies.
If you’ve got unexpected visitors that decide to pop by right after a raging session, you’ll want to get rid of the evidence.
Thinking ahead will spare you a lot of trouble, so have your stash hidden away in someplace safe that you know no one will come looking for.
Here’s our list of genius places to stash your stash.
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Usually, if you’re caught smoking it will be because of the infamous smell that marijuana has.
Keep an odor eliminator on hand, light some candles, burn incense, brush your teeth, pop a gum (CBD gum will help you relax, too) in your mouth, and spray on some perfume.
Veil is an odor eliminator specifically designed to get rid of pot smell, so maybe keep one around for your peace of mind.
Life happens, and for us stoners, life is accompanied by a joint or a pipeful of your favorite strain.
You can easily get rid of the physical giveaways of being high, but acting sober is another important aspect to get people off your case.
First of all: take a couple of big, deep breaths and relax. You might feel like you’re on Jupiter, but to someone who doesn’t suspect a thing, you’ll seem normal (or a little tired, at worst).
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Find a comfortable position to be in and concentrate on calming yourself. If you feel like the conversation is a burden, keep your answers short and sweet and let them talk themselves out, so you don’t have to.
Here’s another secret: fake it ’til you make it. Confidence is a surefire way to get people to see right past the movie going on inside of your head.
Fixating on the trippiness of the situation might awaken some anxiety, so take a chill pill and just concentrate on the moment. That could mean a literal chill pill like CBD gummies or a figurative chill pill in the form of deep breaths. Relax and just remember, the high will fade in no time.
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