Ten Stoner Quotes We Love

There’s something about hearing your favorite celebrity talk about weed that makes you want to smoke it, or are we alone on that one?

We’re not entirely sure if these people were high when they were quoted, but whether that’s the case or not, we still love to hear some of the funniest and most real weed-inspired quotes from the people we love. Here are our top ten favorite stoner quotes.

“They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you’re high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it’s not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.”

― Bill Hicks

“I used to smoke marijuana. But I’ll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening – or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, mid-evening, and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early midafternoon, or perhaps the late-mid-afternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning… But never at dusk.”

―Steve Martin

“People say you can abuse marijuana. Well, shit, you can abuse cheeseburgers too, you know? You don’t go around closing Burger King because you can abuse something.”

―Joe Rogan

“From a natural stiffness, I melted into a grinning tolerance. Walking on the streets became a high adventure, eating my mother’s huge dinners, an opulent entertainment, and playing with my son was side-cracking hilarity. For the first time, life amused me.”

―Maya Angelou

So high I’m not comin’ down, and you wit me you ain’t comin’ down eitherrrr,
Let’s write our names on a cloud, break sum down,
Roll it up and pass it all around, god damn she a keeeperrr”

―”Up” by Wiz Khalifa

“I’m in love with Mary Jane.
She’s my main thing.
She makes me feel alright.
She makes my heart sing.
And when I’m feeling low,
She comes as no surprise.
Turns me on with her love.
Takes me to paradise.”

―”Mary Jane” by Rick James

“This. Is. The future. This is like the apex of the vortex of joint engineering. It’s rumored that M. M. O’Shaughnessy designed the first one – the guy who designed the Golden Gate Bridge. My second favorite civil engineer behind Hannskarl Bandel, Madison Square Garden. What you do is you light all three ends at the same time, and then the smoke converges, creating a trifecta of joint-smoking power. This is it, man. This is what your grandchildren are gonna be smoking. The future. The future.”

―Saul (James Franco) in Pineapple Express

“40 million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn’t, Jonah were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas, and Bill Clinton.”

―Jay Leno

“It is, like, the best medicine. Because it fixes everything. Jonah broke his elbow once. He just got high, and it still clicks, but I mean…he’s okay.”

―Ben (Seth Rogen) in Knocked Up

“When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself.”

―Bob Marley